posted by Joe Anaya on June 24th, 2013

I saw the Superman reboot this weekend. This is a review with spoilers. So, stop reading if you haven’t seen it yet.

I love movies; I love superheros. So how could I not be excited about another superhero movie? Because I love all things superhero, my standards are pretty low for a passing grade. I thought Green Lantern was perfectly entertaining for a summer movie. I even enjoyed Daredevil the first time I saw it in the theaters. (It definitely doesn’t hold up to multiple viewings.) Since there’s already a suspension of disbelief in superhero stories, I’m always willing to suspend just a little more for the sake of bring my comic book heroes to the big screen. That being said, I never got engaged by any of the storylines in this version of the son of Krypton. Basically, my reaction was, “Meh.”

When I heard that Zack Snyder was at the helm, I was disappointed but had my fingers crossed. Since 300, Snyder has made a few horrible movies that looked great. Sucker Punch was horrendous, Legend of the Guardians was boring. Even a beloved graphic novel like Watchmen, couldn’t escape Snyder’s lack of touch. (I have never seen a less sexy, sex scene before or since Watchmen.) Snyder basically makes good imagery for the trailers. The mitigating circumstance was that Christopher Nolan and David Goyer were co-writing the story. These are the guys who revived the Batman franchise and made the best superhero movie ever in The Dark Knight.

So, my hope was that Nolan and Goyer could create such a solid story that even Snyder couldn’t suck the humanity out of it. No such luck. In fact, it was the story that hurt more than the lack of human interest. Here are a few questions that will illustrate my point.

Why does General Zod (the villian) want to take over a dying Krypton planet?
It’s dying. Is he planning on being in charge for the next few hours while the planet collapses and explodes? Why doesn’t he take the ships he’s commandeered and fly away? Because he needs the Codex you say.

Why does anyone need the Codex?
At one point we’re told that it contains the DNA of all of Krypton. And…? It never comes into play.

When Zod is captured, why do the leaders put him into the Phantom Zone?
Essentially, they’ve removed him and his mutineers from the horrible destruction that is awaiting everyone else?

Why are the other Krytonian explorers dead?
When Zod escapes the Phantom Zone, he searches out previous Kryptonian explorers who had a machine that could turn any planet into Krypton (a lot like the Genesis project in Star Trek: Wrath of Kahn). We never find out why they died.

Why doesn’t Zod take the terra form machine and make a new Krypton?
Because he wants the Codex, which is with Superman. Still don’t know why he needs the Codex.

It just goes on like that to the point where I suspended my suspension of disbelief and just started to try and find the images from the trailer. I never thought I’d like Snyder’s imagery better than Nolan’s story. But there you are.

File Under Mr. Cool