posted by Matt W on June 26th, 2013

Every year during NFL draft season, some potential superstar scores incredibly low on the Wonderlic. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this test, it is a sort of IQ test with 50 SAT type questions. The lowest score I have ever heard of for an NFL draftee is 6 and the highest is a perfect 50. The acceptable range seems to be in the 15-30 range, on the higher end of the range for quarterbacks, and for the most part scores are not released.

So, every year some player comes out with questionable intelligence and his Wonderlic score is leaked so fat couch potato’s around the nation can feel good about themselves and say, “I didn’t just get a $15 million dollar contract, or run a 4.3 40 but I’m sure I could at least get a 6 on the Wonderlic. A six? That’s crazy! My God, I could just answer C on every question and get a 10.” And every year the debate about whether asking SAT questions to a potential NFL player is even relevant, and if not relevant, maybe even a little racist. Every year. And every year GMs around the league insist the Wonderlic is a valuable tool in evaluating prospects.

My favorite response to the Wonderlic was last year when a highly rated prospect with a questionable IQ sat down to take the Wonderlic and then walked out a few minutes later not having answered any of the questions. His response was something like, “They told me it was an intelligence test to measure how good I was going to be at football. There weren’t any football questions, so I walked out.” You sir, will do just fine in the NFL.

Because I hate it when people talk poorly about something but don’t offer a solution, I have come up with a better test for the average football prospect for next year. It consists of 10 questions, some essay, true/false, math, and multiple choice.

  1. Explain how you can be an effective football player while smoking marijuana on a regular basis. (A recent survey estimates over 70% of NFL players light one up on a regular basis.)
  2. True or False: Have you ever punched a Man? Woman? Child? (Domestic abuse is the main reason NFL players get arrested.)
  3. True or False: It is a big deal to get a DUI?
  4. Have you ever heard of Mike Webster, Alex Karras or Junior Seau?
  5. You make $300,000 per game. Your quarterback decides to throw to you zero times in a game and your team wins, but your feelings are hurt. How much money did you make in that game?
  6. Assume the Question 5 parameters are still true. If you go to the GM and demand a trade, is your next contract likely to be larger or smaller than it would have been if you had kept quiet?
  7. If someone you know comes up to you in the locker room and offers you a pill that you don’t have a prescription for, you:
    1. Take the pill; you know him so of course it’s OK.
    2. Ask what the pill does and if it seems like a good idea for your body, you take the pill because you know him so of course it’s OK.
    3. Don’t take the pill because it doesn’t come in blue and you only like blue pills.
    4. Don’t take the pill because you don’t have a prescription from a doctor that has been approved by the NFL.
    5. None of the above, because pills are confusing.
  8. You’re the left guard and you are supposed to “pull” on the next play, should your shoes be tied?
  9. Assume the Question 8 parameters are true, should you be running to your left or right?
  10. Practice starts at 8:00 am. You like to wake up at 9:00am. Should you ask your coach if it is OK to show up around 10:00am?

Now these are the types of questions teams should be asking. While they seem like pretty crazy questions, every year someone gets cut from a team for one of the above reasons. If the GM’s around the league can’t see how much more valuable these test results would be, maybe they should have their Wonderlic scores released.

File Under Weekend Warrior