posted by Joe Anaya on December 3rd, 2012

I live in a suburb of Los Angeles, and it has a history of being a sleepy little family town. Past city councils actively cultivated this image, including denying hard liquor licenses and enforcing business closings at 10pm with just a few exceptions.

In fact, the first month we moved out here, my wife and I decided to have a late dinner out; it was around 9pm. We decided to just make it easy and go to the El Torritos, a chain Mexican restaurant. There was an hour and half wait. I laughed and asked, “Are you joking?” “No, it’s 1½ hours.” “It’s El Torrito for god’s sake. Who would wait that long for El Torritos?” We left and drove around to chain restaurant after chain restaurant, finding the same situation, until they started telling us they were closing in 15 minutes. At that point, my wife was practically in tears, “What have we done? Where are we?”

Well, thankfully, probably out of desperation for revenue, the latest city council changed their thinking and allowed brew pubs, sports bars and the like to pop up all over town.

Recently, a Hooters opened up in my neighborhood. Many of the mom’s were up in arms about a Hooter’s opening in our family friendly town. I personally have never been to a Hooter’s. I hear all the, “I go there for the wings” alibis. Are the wings really that good? But I really don’t see the big appeal or reason for protest.

Hooters is such a weird concept to me. It’s like a place for titillation (pun intended) for guys who are afraid to have people know they like looking at attractive woman. It seems strange but Hooters is quaint in its subversiveness. It’s not like they’re naked. You see young girls in half t-shirts and short-shorts, but as long as you’re there for the food, you aren’t embarrassed to be around scantily clad young women?

There’s a reason the Playboy empire is shrinking, it’s called the internet. Can there be that many men who “like wings” and don’t know how to find near naked or fully naked women on the internet? I know Fred Willard got caught in what has to be the last bricks & mortar porn theater, but that’s the exception. And he’s over 70 years old, he actually may not know how to use a computer. (I heard a porn company sent him a free computer with their site as the browser homepage.)

Or maybe these supposed hot-wings lovers are three-dimensional guys; they want to see their women in person, but are too scared to go to a strip club. Just grow a pair. And quit pretending it’s about the wings. There’s no way they are that good. Or are they? I may have visit one, one day, to check out the wings of course.

File Under Mr. Cool