posted by Joe Anaya on September 22nd, 2014

I just got back from my niece’s wedding. It was a very nice affair. The same weekend another niece announced that she just got engaged. All the young people getting married reminded me of the questions old people like to ask young couples.

If you’ve been dating a while, the old people will start asking you, “When are you going to get married?” Well, typically if you’re the girl, you’re waiting for the guy to pop the question, so you have no answer. If you’re the guy, obviously you’re not ready to ask the girl or you would have, so why bring it up? So asking the question, is just really throwing salt on the wound.

The day you finally get married you think, “Hey I’m married now, that’s weird,” and “finally, no more embarrassing questions from the aunts, uncles, moms, dads, and grandparents.”

But what you don’t realize is that there’s the next question, “When are you going to have a baby?” Although that’s a very personal question, it doesn’t stop Aunt Noni from blurting it out around the Thanksgiving dessert.

One of my other niece’s (I have a few) who was not interested in kids right away, confided that her mom’s constant badgering about grandchildren was getting on her nerves. I suggested that the next time her mom brought it up, she well-up with tears and run out of the room crying, leaving her husband to “explain” that they’ve been trying. I guaranteed her if they pulled off that stunt once, nobody would dare ask her again, “When are you having a kid?”

And then even if you have a kid, the interrogation doesn’t stop. While you’re still wiping puke out off the straps of the car seat, some old person is going to ask, “When are you going to have another?”

You just smile and shrug and pick up the stray Goldfish crackers sliding behind the back seat. But really you’re thinking, “Enough! When are you going to break your hip, old person? Quit asking personal questions about the milestones in my life.”

Just because you’re at a certain stage in life does not mean there’s a blanket permission slip to ask personal questions. I for one try not to pry. I congratulate when appropriate and keep my questions to myself. Well, that’s not true; I really don’t have any questions. I’m too busy with my own life to be wondering about someone else’s.



File Under King of the Castle