posted by Matt W on July 6th, 2011

I have seen my wife and children try to plunge a toilet, and well, it is not a pretty site. While a disgusting job to start with, I am mostly referring to their utter lack of ability in getting the job done.  I am acutely aware of the fact that they could be putting on an act to get me to do this disgusting job, but their inability to do other small mechanical tasks around the house and the fact that whenever I am gone and a toilet gets clogged they just cordon off that room until I get back, makes me think that they are truly incapable of this simple task. I don’t get it. Get a plunger, make a seal between the plunger and the bowl, move up and down slowly so as not to make a mess. Viola, plunged! My dad always said “you have to be smarter than the tool you are working with” (which by the way is one of my favorite lines to drop on my kids these days). My wife has a Ph. D and my son basically aced the ACT and they can’t figure out a plunger? What is so difficult about this tool?

Well, my son recently moved to an apartment with a friend, and unless he has changed his fiber intake by a staggering amount or now uses less than the 50 squares per flush he used to I can’t imagine that the astronomical number of clogs he produces has reduced. What do he and his roommate do when the toilet is acting up? Call the Super? Hook a hose up to the sink and try to blast the clog away? Or just wait it out until the clog breaks up naturally? At what point in a man’s life does he acquire this higher power? When will my son stride confidently into the bathroom, plunger in hand and walk out two minutes later having accomplished this heroic manly feat.

Apparently, it is a rite of passage. If my son has finally figured out this life lesson, I would like to know, I could take him out for a bran muffin and a salad to celebrate.

File Under Jack of all Trades