posted by Joe Anaya on April 20th, 2012

10. Kal-El Cage: At least Nicholas Cage really is a big comic book fan. And I’ll give him that Kal-El is Superman’s Krypton name. So, naming his son Kal-El is not a bad association, but come on.

9. Diva Thin Muffin Zappa: Next to Ahmet, Diva is the most normal name Frank Zappa has for his children. And yes, the rest of his progeny are on the list.

8. George Edward Foreman (Jr.-VI): I guess with 10 kids you start to run out of ideas. George Foreman’s kids 5-9 are literally numbered. Number 4 is a girl with the middle name George, and number 10 is Georgette.

7. Blanket Jackson: Well technically, that’s just a nickname. The King of Pop’s second son’s real name is Prince Michael II Jackson. Oddly he’s named after his older brother…

6. Prince Michael Jackson: I didn’t think you could get more self-aggrandizing than naming 7 of your kids after yourself. I was wrong.

5. Apple Martin: Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter is Apple. What else is there to say.

4. Moon Unit Zappa: We all know her from the 80’s song Valley Girl, so it doesn’t seem that odd. But think about it, what do you call her? Moon, Moonie, Moo, Unit, Uni, Moo U?

3. Kyd Duchovny: David Duchovny named his child Kyd. Not surprisingly, combining a total lack of imagination and childish spelling doesn’t make a good name, in fact the opposite.

2. Dweezil Zappa: Even if you’re making up names, why would you pick a name that rhymed with a rodent?

1. Ima Hogg: As mentioned in Monday’s post, Texas politician Big Jim Hogg named his daughter Ima. The others on the list were stupid, selfish or silly, but Ima Hogg is just plain cruel.

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