posted by Joe Anaya on August 18th, 2014

I heard that scientists were going to be looking at the claims of the quinoa proponents. The weird tadpole like grain my wife swears will extend our lives is now under the scrutiny of it’s status as a super food.

But the fact is that the scientists are already too late. The A.D.D. health crowd is on to the newest fad, chia seeds. How do I know? I was accosted by a woman in the grocery store trying to get me to try a free sample of some chia seed product.

“Is this the same thing as the ‘Cha-cha-chia pet’ chia?” I asked. I was met with a blank stare by the clearly too young sales woman. Anyway…

What is it with people, and by “people” I mean my wife, and the constant search for a magical food that will save our lives? It’s just food, eat different kinds, don’t go crazy on one type. Simple. I’m tired of all the trends.

We have frozen packets of Acai in our freezer and I never learned to pronounce it correctly before it stopped being a super food. I still don’t know how to pronounce it.

Before that, cranberries and its antioxidants were going to clean out my urinary track and make me live longer. Or was it blueberries and THEIR antioxidants. I’m pretty sure the blueberries had nothing to do with my urethra.

I’m realizing people have been looking for a super food from way back. I know the hippies extolled the virtues of wheat grass and alfalfa sprouts as an antidote to the poison everyone was putting into their bodies.

Before that, Popeye the Sailor tricked a generation of kids into eating spinach. (As far as I could tell, Bluto had the way better physique and he didn’t eat spinach.)

Seriously, this has been going on for hundreds of years. Even Benjamin Franklin thought “an apple a day would keep the doctor away.”

Well, I for one have had enough; unfortunately, my wife has not. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m being told I have to eat my kale chips.

File Under Jack of all Trades