posted by Matt W on January 25th, 2012

In college, one of my suite mates took the “How well do you know women” quiz in that month’s addition of Playboy magazine. Thinking he did better than any of the rest could do, especially me, the Baptist, he made all of us take the quiz. I blew everybody away. Next to the number I got correct was the line, “You know women like Rockefeller knows money.” And while that was a great line to throw around to the other guys in my suite, even then, I knew women were a mystery not easily solved.

Back to present time, I have been married for 24 years. In the US these days that is something of a major accomplishment. With 24 years under my belt you would think, I really must understand women like Rockefeller knows money. In reality, I haven’t a clue. Pertaining to my wife, daughter or other women in my life, for every question I finally figure out, 3 more instantly pop up in their place.

Why are women so complex? Someone must have figured them out. Recently a magazine asked Stephen Hawking, “What is the biggest mystery in the universe?” This Cambridge professor known for figuring out the most complex questions in modern physics answered, “Women. They are a complete mystery.” Wow, even Stephan Hawking hasn’t a clue. I actually felt incredibly relieved after I read that. While not helping me answer any questions I have about my marriage, it made me feel good to know that one of the world’s foremost thinkers couldn’t figure out his two wives either. They really are a mystery.

And then I got to thinking, many of the great thinkers over the course of time, Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Newton, and later Thoreau just to name a few, were thought to be gay. They probably figured out the great mysteries of life because they were unencumbered by the brain sapping question of, “How do I keep the woman in my life happy?”

So, apparently this is life’s greatest mystery. The great minds over time have either been totally perplexed by this mystery or just ignored it entirely and gotten some of the universes more minor mysteries like gravity and energy figured out. My god, Einstein divorced his first wife, and married his first cousin to take care of his household just so he could get down to some serious thinking. Now that’s true genius.

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