posted by Joe Anaya on August 5th, 2011

While on a long car trip with another couple, the wives end up in a conversation discussing which movie stars they find attractive. I think their actual word was “yummy.” The usual suspects appear-—Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, etc. Inevitably, the wives turn to the husbands and ask, “Who do you think is hot?” My friend, the other husband, loudly declares the name of this game, “Girl trap, that’s such a girl trap.” We all laugh, because it’s true. It seemed like a silly conversation to kill time, but it was a deviously hidden Girl Trap Question.

Having declared our knowledge of the situation minimizes the potential damage but it’s still not a green zone for honest thoughts. For example, my first thought was to clarify the question. Are they asking who would I have sex with, who would I want a relationship with, or who do I find generally attractive? Being a guy, my standard for who I’d “do” is dramatically lower than who I’d want to spend the next 30 years with. There are any number of actresses that were I single and in the unlikely event they wanted me, I’d gladly follow them to the bedroom. But being cautious I keep the framing to door number 3 “who do I find attractive.”

This in itself is not necessarily an easy question. First I scan my memory for any starlet that vaguely resembles my wife and at the very least is in the same age range. Julianne Moore, middle-aged, red hair, pale skin—perfect. It doesn’t hurt that she seems intelligent. My friend takes the alternate tack–complete opposite of his blonde wife, but still safely in the age range. “Selma Hyak.” Now my next move was a little risky, but I felt ignoring the obvious bevy of young beauties would reveal the incompleteness of our answers. So, I throw out a woman even our wives couldn’t deny as attractive and know there’s no chance I’d ever meet anyone like her. “Eva Mendes.” There’s an awkward pause in the conversation. Are they trying to recall who Eva Mendes is? Are they comparing themselves to the voluptuous Eva? Did I make a misstep? Finally, my wife agrees, “Oh she’s way sexy.” My friend turns and gives me the “nicely played,” head nod and adroitly changes the subject to how full his bladder is. I spend the next minute staring out the window thinking about the yummy Eva Mendes.

File Under King of the Castle