posted by Joe Anaya on July 22nd, 2013

I’m generally an honest person. I don’t eat from the grocery store bulk bins. I keep an accurate mileage log for tax purposes. I leave a penny as often as a take a penny. But when it’s appropriate, mainly when I think it’s funny, I’m perfectly willing to take a full step across the line and not only break but blatantly pulverize the rules.

Now I have no room in my heart for real cheaters. My fingers are permanently crossed that Bill Belichick will never win another Superbowl, so I can continue to say, “He’s never won without cheating.” (What inner demons drive a great coach to go so far as to outright cheat; only his therapist knows?)

Despite Matt W’s claims that he does not cheat at games other than poker. I’ve caught him several times, cheating at the game BS. When he says, “I have two jacks.” I think, “I have one jack. The other guy might have a jack and he’s not calling BS. It’s reasonable that Matt could have two jacks.” But really what I’m not watching is that Matt’s really dropping four cards into the pile. That’s an evil genius at work and it’s funny. (He claims the point of BS is to cheat.)

Once, someone brought Party Pictionary to a couples’ gathering. One of the wives had the idea to split the teams up into men vs. women. The game is played where both drawers get the same word and work on opposite sides of an easel. Only your team sees what you’re drawing and vice verse. Well predictably, pretty quickly after getting behind, the men start cheating. It was my brother-in-law who figured out that since the women couldn’t see what he was drawing, he simply wrote out the phrase “head phones.” Every guy after that followed suit. The men “won” by a landslide. Eventually, each of us confessed to our spouses the great joke we played.

The other scenario in which I’ll gladly cheat is dealing with my son. My son is getting to the age where he likes to test his might against me. The obvious contest is arm wrestling. While he is getting stronger, currently, there’s no contest. Order is clearly established. I am bigger and stronger, so he still has something to learn.

But I know there will be a day when I may not be able to beat him outright. So, I’ll have to cheat. Blowing in his face or kicking him under the table, should create enough of a surprise that I will get the jump on him and win again. That’s two more attempts. Jumping the gun and “look behind you” might get me two more wins. But eventually, he’ll wise up, be prepared for any form of cheating or any form of anything and win despite all obstacles. And isn’t that a pretty good thing for a kid to learn from his father?

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