Lately, my kid has been obsessed with going fishing. But frankly, because he’s only 10, he doesn’t remember the last few times I’ve taken him fishing haven’t exactly been memorable experiences. Of course there’s the time we went to Troutdale, a fish farm with cement ponds stocked with trout. He caught a fish and was
My daughter called me in a panic the other day as she had forgotten to bring her folder for school that she keeps all her assignments in. Because she needed to turn in multiple assignments, I threw her a bone and brought it to her. I meander into the school past the playfield where a
The Seahawks held rookie minicamp this weekend sorting through newly drafted and just-signed college players looking for that next man up who can help them get back to the Superbowl. They’ll apply their usual divining method to roster moves. The Seahawks have a clear philosophy that has built a championship roster. Their approach to acquiring
Being Seahawks fans here at Male Patter Madness, we thought this was funny. Go Hawks.
It is always amazing to me what people will lie about. As a parent, I have heard my share of fibs and I always find myself thinking, “Why did you choose to bend the truth here when reality was a non-punishable crime? The lie was actually worse.” We don’t get any smarter as adults. Early
There’s a Bud Light advertising campaign based around the idea of sports superstitions, with the tag line, “It’s only weird if it doesn’t work.” In one commercial, a 49er’s fan returns to his old apartment to sit in the same spot he was in when the team one a Superbowl. There’s another commercial where fans
The football jersey I’ve always wanted is a Sonny Sixkiller, University of Washington jersey with the huge old style 6 on it. I have never seen one, and haven’t had a football jersey until recently because of it. I have followed the Seattle Mariners for years. I was a big Alvin Davis fan and once
I’m hoarse and exhausted after watching the Seahawks amazing come from behind win in the NFC Championship. So here’s a quick blog explaining some of the sayings surrounding the Seahawks. You may hear a few of them as we head towards the Superbowl. 12th man or 12s: There are 11 men on the football field
Something I noticed at a few of my kid’s wrestling tournaments is that there is at least one girl on every team, most have more than one. As a doting father, I’ve had lots of time to sit in the stands killing time watching other matches and sitting next to various high school teams. I
As everyone should know by now Joe A. and I are big Seahawks fans. To get you in the Holiday Spirit and also get you psyched for the upcoming Super Bowl, I thought I would share a video of someone who really gets into the holiday/sports season. Enjoy!
Toward the end of my senior year in high school I was called to the principal’s office. As I couldn’t remember any recent principal worthy crimes, I started wondering what I had done that the high school statute of limitations hadn’t run out on. Did they finally figure out it was me that super glued
Last week, Matt W wrote about how little his daughter follows his good advice, even though he has a track record Nostradamus would be envious of. And since my son reached his know-it-all teens, we’ve been living with a similar credibility gap from our reluctant houseguest. But this weekend was a rare moment of acknowledgement
When I was in 10th grade, I went golfing with my buddy Andy. We were put in a group with two men in their sixties who had been best friends all their lives. One was very small and quiet, and a really good golfer. The other was incredibly loud, talked non-stop (he was the county
My mom didn’t like sports. Maybe it was because she was from Japan and didn’t understand the American sports culture. Maybe because she was a woman and didn’t get the competitive thing. Or maybe because she was a mom and just didn’t like seeing her “little boy” get hurt. As I’ve blogged before, I didn’t
I was in New York last week for Data Center Energy Manager training. I walked into the room fairly close to the start of class and took the one remaining seat. I noticed something seemed odd. There were only men in the class, no women. One Latino, one Black man, and ten White men made
I hope this fan of Seahawk Robert Turbin is a real Sikh with a brilliant sense of humor. (Otherwise it feels kind of bigoted.) I chose to believe the former. Go Hawks!
I have World Cup Fever. I admit it freely. I even bought a Mexico jersey. But being a kid who did not grow up loving or even playing soccer, there are things I see that could improve the game. The most obvious thing to do is increase scoring. 0-1 is a common score, but it’d
Years ago when I was young and naive, I thought I could coach just about any team better than their current coach. Why is Renee Lachemann (Mariners) bringing in Bobby Ayala? Why did Chuck Knox (Seahawks) run up the middle for the sixth straight time? Why is my son’s little league coach calling for the
This week we wrote about barbers. My story had the feel of a little danger. It reminded me of the old Monty Python skit. Enjoy.
I love March. There are lots of reasons: the return of warm spring weather, St. Patrick’s Day (I’m Irish by marriage), my birthday (Pisces), but mostly, the NCAA college tournament March Madness. If you like college basketball, or underdogs, or Cinderella stories you have to love the tournament. For years, even if I wasn’t in
I have always enjoyed March Madness. To me it is a more cerebral look at college basketball. I sit down with a bracket and reflect on the season, and then methodically move from spot to spot until I crown a national champion. Then the actual tournament starts and I get to see how well I
Football season is over and I’m wrapping up my thoughts on the NFL. Other than my beloved Seahawks winning the Super Bowl, I had one lingering thought about the state of the NFL. While I am half-Japanese/half-Mexican, I am not the Politically Correct police. But, it’s 2014 and there’s still a professional sports team with
My throat is hoarse from cheering. Many of my predictions came true. I’m still recovering from a night celebrating. So, I’m just going to link to this. Go Hawks.
The Superbowl is this weekend and I can’t wait for my beloved Seahawks to take their place as one of the greatest defenses of all time. Here are 10 fearless predictions for the game. I’ll eat at least one too many deviled eggs. I love deviled eggs. They don’t show up in everyday life very
As you know, we’re Seattle Seahawks fans at MPM. So, here’s a well done commercial about one of the players, Derek Coleman, a backup fullback on the team. It made my wife get misty eyed. Enjoy
I have been a Seahawks fan since their beginning. I’m sure I’m one of the few people that remember Steve Niehaus was their first draft pick ever, although truth be told, I only remember that because he had the same last name as my favorite baseball announcer, Dave Niehaus; he didn’t do that much as
Years ago, there was a forward for the Seattle Super Sonics named Shawn Kemp. He was amazing. In the first game I saw him play, he jumped and pulled down a rebound that he literally grabbed from above the backboard. All the other players looked like mere mortals playing next to superman. He was an
Matt W. wrote about not jinxing the Seahawk’s comeback by bring his daughter back into the room. So, here are a couple of the Bud Light commercials that feature the universal notion of doing whatever it takes to help your team win. Enjoy. (For some reason, the volume on the players is automatically set to
I’m taking the Labor Day holiday off today and posting a quick picture. The NFL teams have finalized their rosters and are down to the 53 man maximum which reminded me of a picture from a couple of years ago. It’s a rooking sitting at his locker which is next to a veteran’s locker. Enjoy.
Toward the end of my senior year of high school, Joe A. and I, along with a couple buddies decided we would take a road trip. Now up until that point of my life, road trips had been a family affair, and while they seemed epic in nature, the furthest we had ever driven as a family
I know an adventurer. His name is Erden Eruc. And as a guy, if you can’t be an adventurer, the next best thing is to be friends with an adventurer. There aren’t many adventurers left in the world, so to know one is pretty cool. Erden holds the record for most days in a solo
Baseball season is in the home stretch. The All-star Game is over. The trading deadline has passed and lesser teams are looking to the future. Along with trading away their expensive stars, they typically bring up their young prospects and give them a cup of coffee in the majors. It was one of these players
I’m generally an honest person. I don’t eat from the grocery store bulk bins. I keep an accurate mileage log for tax purposes. I leave a penny as often as a take a penny. But when it’s appropriate, mainly when I think it’s funny, I’m perfectly willing to take a full step across the line
Basketball and hockey season are over. Football season hasn’t started yet. Only baseball is going on. And I use the term “going on” loosely, because rarely does anything really “go on” in baseball. Well, let’s just call it what it is, a slow-moving, boring sport. I’m a good American; I’ve tried to get into baseball.
Every year during NFL draft season, some potential superstar scores incredibly low on the Wonderlic. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this test, it is a sort of IQ test with 50 SAT type questions. The lowest score I have ever heard of for an NFL draftee is 6 and the highest is
I’m a huge Seattle Mariner fan. I have never wavered in my support of the Mariners. Alvin Davis was my favorite player for the M’s years ago. Dave Neihaus was the best sportscaster ever. Ever. Edgar Martinez was awesome. I follow their minor league system religiously, and therefore can talk to you about any of their past,
Sandy Koufax and Dave Neihaus, it just doesn’t get any better than that. So here it is the pitch that I spoke of in Wednesday’s blog. Envision it at 98 mph and it will make the hair on your arms stand up. Sandy Koufax First Pitch Also for your enjoyment I have provided links to
Opening Day. Sandy Koufax. As the late, great, Mariner announcer Dave Neihaus used to say, “My Oh My.” Yesterday was opening day for my beloved Seattle Mariners and while I was searching for game stats the headline that caught my eye was that Sandy Koufax threw out the first pitch at Dodger Stadium. I would have liked to
Even President Obama has his picks for the NCAA tournament. Check out this video. Does the FBI give him inside info? Judging from previous years, I don’t think so.
I’m not sure I could watch hours of this “sport,” but I’m pretty sure I would enjoy at least some of it.
When I was single, I watched a lot of sports, NBA basketball, NFL football, college football, NCAA March Madness, MLB world series, etc. It was a great Sunday when I could watch both the 10am football game, the 1pm game and have a marquee match up for the Sunday Night game. Ah, that was the
Another Superbowl is done and predictably I ate too many hot wings. The thing that struck me during all the cheering over big hits is that boys are bellicose. Men are too. There’s always some level of competitiveness in our play or camaraderie. A desire to establish top dog, to be able to prove that
Well, this week we talked about Video Games and the Statute of Limitations in a relationship. While my wife has a long memory, sports fans have even longer ones (there is no statute of limitations for a sports fan). As a childhood Oakland Raider fan and an adult Seattle Seahawks fan (I’ve been a Seahawk
Another NFL season has officially started. Along with most other teams, my beloved Seahawks don’t start until Sunday . Like all fans during the pre-season, I again am hoping for a successful season. This year actually looks like a good team. But I say that every year. So, I’m re-posting last years Seahawk post. Hopelessly
The Seahawks quarterback controversy is an age old question, well actually two. So the Seahawks had the physically gifted Tavaris Jackson, and the more cerebral Matt Flynn. They also have a pretty good rookie in the smart, physically talented while shorter than the average NFL quarterback or for that matter shorter than the After Thanksgiving
Like a lot of households, we’re watching some of the Olympics and marveling at the physical abilities of the athletes. You hear the usual human-interest stories about how they’re motivated by the memory of a deceased relative/friend or how their families sacrificed to get them to the Olympics. But I haven’t heard much regarding the
Married men hanging out with married women (those that aren’t your spouse) is generally frowned upon. While this has changed a bit over the years, it is still usually the case because, well, men are simple creatures. As Joe A. said in his blog Looking at Naked Women men check out women; it’s in our
Hey I found this list of pick-up player types. It’s a pretty reasonable list. Enjoy.
When I was a kid, every day after school, a bunch of guys got together and played ball. I remember playing games all the way back to 1rst grade. You showed up, the best players at that particular sport picked teams, and you played some sort of ball for a couple of hours and went
Just because I haven’t exercised in two years and have developed a bit of a gut, shouldn’t be cause for forced inscription in a gym. But since I’m married, I wasn’t going to win that argument. One of my favorite, well let’s be honest, the only form of aerobic exercise I enjoy is basketball. Treadmills
Video games are the new baseball. Kids bond with each other by wiggling their thumbs and manipulating the digital 0s and 1s to make their electronic counterpart find gold, blow up rebel bases and avoid flying turtle shells. When my son was around 7 years-old, he was at a friends house and they were going
This weeks blog posts were about winning the lottery. The NFL equivalent of winning the lottery is getting a great player at a low draft value. Here are the NFL’s top 10 draft day steals. 10. Kurt Warner QB – Undrafted: Okay, I started with a kind of cheat, technically he wasn’t even drafted. So,
March Madness is a great time of year. I really enjoy watching the different games, but there is a limit to how far I would go to get some quality viewing time. Apparently these guys have a much higher bar than I. http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/us/2012/03/13/dnt-oh-march-madness-vasectomy.wews Have a great March Madness weekend, and if you are one of the
I love March. There are lots of reasons: the return of warm spring weather, St. Patrick’s Day (I’m Irish by marriage), my birthday (Pisces), but mostly, the NCAA college tournament (March madness). If you like college basketball, or underdogs, or Cinderella stories you have to love the tournament. For years, even if I wasn’t in
Recently, my son and I went back to my hometown during his spring break to hang out with family and friends. In the month prior to the visit, I had e-mailed a long-time buddy of mine Lee F. We had last seen each other when we played golf together 5 or 6 years ago with
If I were a kid today, I would be the king of the neighborhood team because the middle-class of athletes is vanishing. Nowadays, any six-year old who smiles when they throw a ball is instantly thrust into a Soviet-era training regimen. They are of course are signed up for little league. If they want to
The NFL Network just wrapped up broadcasting some 4 days of NFL Combine and I watched a lot of it. (Go Seahawks.) For those who don’t know, the Combine is where the NFL invites a lot of college players ready to join the NFL. They check the player’s height and weight, and run them through
My daughter plays a lot of volleyball and is trying out for a travel team. It has been a good experience for her the last couple of years, getting to know all the girls and improving on her skills. It is a huge family commitment, with a lot of time and money being spent on
As you know, Joe A and I throw out lists every once in a while for fun. Okay, really in order not have to write quite as much. When we stumble across any category containing books, they pretty much fall in my lap as Joe A prefers to get his entertainment viewing a screen. As
I’m a big guy. I could probably just end the post there and you would have all the relevant information, but instead I will rant for a while. I am 6’2’ and typically weigh about 220 pounds but was trending upwards. 230 is the weight that I think new pants become a distinct possibility. This
As a child, I would much rather sit inside and color, read comics or play board-games than be dragged outside for a game of baseball or basketball. I didn’t really grow into my body until middle school or high school and found my sports interest at around the same time. But by then it was
The other day I was watching ESPN and I half noticed that the first month of NBA basketball was cancelled because the players and owners could not come to an agreement as to how to split the $4 billion in revenues the NBA currently receives. The owners would not go more than 50-50 while the
As the 2011 baseball season nears it’s end, for me, nothing that happened this season compares to last year when Detroit Tiger’s pitcher Armdando Galarraga was perfect and umpire Jim Joyce was not. Yet both men personified why we recognize sports as a great metaphor for life, creating opportunities to model good behavior under pressure
Sports moments are hard to rank. Everyone has a different ranking based on whether it is their home team, how big the stage was, or how cool they think the sport is. As a Seattle fan, I have a special place in my heart for the Sonics Championship and Edgar Martinez’ hit to beat the
Sports are great. Movies are great. Sports movies are super great. Here’s a list of my top 10 sports movies. Movies #1-3 came to mind instantly. And by the time I was done, I had 20 sports movies I liked. (19 if you don’t count the futuristic sport of Rollerball.) And before you yell at
I always get my heart broken, and yet I come back. Years of unfulfilled promises to do better, and yet I still believe it will be better. I know it’s unhealthy, but I can’t help it. I love the Seattle Seahawks. Always have; always will. I can’t let go of my loyalty to my favorite
My daughter made a beautiful spike at a high school volleyball match last night. It was the kind of spike that you might see a dozen times a night by women at a college match, solid and worthy of a big cheer, but coming from my daughter it was amazing. A few words about my
When my kid was 7 years old he was at a karate tournament and received a Participation Medal. Now I’m all for little kids (I’m talking about three to six years old) feeling good about participating. I’ve coached my share of sports teams that don’t keep score and just celebrate the kids learning the rules
As I helped my daughter clean up her room this weekend, I spent hours pushing her to get rid of all the crap she likes to keep. One of my first targets was all the soccer trophies she received just for me paying the entry fee. When did kids start getting trophies just for showing
157-0-2 This is my and my son’s best guess as to our lifetime golf match record prior to yesterday. Now, 157-1-2. I was really looking forward to my son beating me at golf, honestly. I once told my son that, “The day he beats me at golf, he will be the second proudest person on
There is a co-worker of mine that always brags about his son’s ability at football. He apparently is an excellent quarterback, and has always lead the league in both passing and rushing, a true All-star. He has been going to an elite athlete training facility for the past 5 years, multiple days a week, to
I recently celebrated another birthday. During the festivities, I opened my birthday present from my college age son knowing that he got me work-out shorts (I’m a dad, I always know). I’m a little confused when the package I open contains two large skirt-like objects with enough fabric to make 4 or 5 pairs of
This humor blog is dedicated to the fellow Y-chromosomes out there who are stuck in the middle of life. Between our athletic peak and our aching back. Between our corporate overlords and the ungrateful employees we manage. Between, our demon offspring, our crotchety parents, and our wives/ex-wives/girlfriends/2nd wives/partners. For women who stumble upon this site: