posted by Matt W on August 31st, 2011

I just took my dog to the vet and was thrilled to get a bill for $117. Typically when I go to the Vet it runs at least twice that and they hand me the bill and say “But he’s worth it!”

First of all, I didn’t even know that a dog had an anal gland and secondly that it needed to be “expressed”.  All I have to say is that the only way that I let the vet down there on my dog was that she referred to the procedure as a “GENTLE anal gland expression” (GAGE from now on, as the words are starting to trigger my gag reflex). “Of course you better be gentle, I paid $117 for this.”

So after all this was done, they gave me the medications to give my dog. One was a pill, which was great, I have no problem with that end of my dog, and one wasn’t. Now don’t get me wrong I love my dog, but he is a dog. Aren’t they supposed to take care of themselves? There is no way my dad would have been putting the butt powder on my dog growing up.

Now I think the world of my old dog, and I cough up the Visa card every time, but when did pet ownership turn into a major line item in the family budget?  A few years ago I went back to the neighborhood where I grew up to visit, and went to this party and the big topic of discussion was all the dogs that had torn their ACL’s and needed surgery. I didn’t even ask how much it cost as I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to control my comments, and would have lost multiple childhood friendships that day. I’m sure we had dogs that tore their ACL’s when I was growing up, we called them names like “Tripod” and “Hoppy” and their owners didn’t have to take out a second mortgage for pet surgery.

As my dog is the only member of the household who listens to my every word and treats me like I am some sort of dog deity, I guess the GAGE package at $117 is really quite a bargain. When I’m told he needs an ACL repair, I am going to have to sit down and have a serious man to dog talk.

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