posted by Matt W on July 17th, 2013

So I clicked on some survey written by a young couple about the questions they would have liked to ask their fiancé knowing what they now know regarding the secrets to a long marriage. As they had been married all of two years and asked stupid questions I thought a marriage “veteran” should probably take a crack at it. 10 questions for you to give a young man considering marriage to ask his fiancé in no particular order:

  1. What type of landscaping do you like? – This is not a hipster euphemism. This is a real question that can take the form of a whole variety of aesthetic questions. In our house, there is almost always a landscaping debate. I don’t like plastic in the landscape and I don’t like to mix edging or other hardscape materials. My wife likes the sharp lines that are usually obtained with crappy plastic lawn edging. She also really, really, really wants a pool and as I would have to take care of it, I don’t (and we all know who would maintain it, no matter what my wife says).
  2. What color paint is allowed? – My wife and I have similar color likes which is nice. Really, the only debate is in our bedroom as my wife knows I’m not going to re-paint it anytime soon, we’re currently in a stand-off. In a different house, we were selling; we had painted one wall a really dark burgundy color which we thought looked really good. Someone walking through asked her husband, “Is there enough KILS in the world to cover up that wall?” Obviously she and I wouldn’t have been good life partners.
  3. Who is going to be responsible for housework? – On second thought, maybe as a guy, you want to scratch this one from the list. Not something you really want to lock down. I wanted to put no painting or ironing in my actual vows, and I’m sure I have done more painting and ironing than any other chores combined.
  4. How tight do you expect to keep track of money? My wife pays the bills and I enter into Quicken and keep the budget. We very rarely have money issues as both are pretty aware of what is happening with our money at all times. Money issues are always high up the list in reasons people get divorced.
  5. Do you know how to plunge a toilet? – Dare to dream.
  6. Coke or Pepsi? Beer or Wine? Meat or Vegetarian? – First off, I could never marry a non-Diet Coke drinker. Then there’s the fact that my wife is a beer drinker. I like both wine and beer. As my wife would never choose wine to drink, I rarely open up a bottle of wine at home which is of course, a bummer. And lastly, as a vegetarian by marriage (I only eat meat in restaurants), if I was a big meat eater, I probably wouldn’t have been too happy when my wife cut meat out of our house over a decade ago. Don’t cry for me, as I definitely got the better end of the marriage deal, even with the whole vegetarian thing.
  7. Are you opposed to signing a legal document that allows me to watch the following sporting events annually for the duration of our marriage without complaint? – If the answer is “no” to this question, head directly to the Justice of the Peace; you’ve got a keeper.
  8. How often are we going to have sex? – It’s important to define what “a lot” is, as I think men and women have a different number associated with that sexual quantity. Going back to the housework question, most definitely don’t define “a lot” with that one.
  9. Can you make a good pie? Do you like to golf? – I’ve combined these because these are the questions I always tell my son to ask. If a woman says yes to both of these questions and can prove it, Wowie-Zowie!
  10. At what temperature do you like to keep the house? – This is the most important ‘living together” question. My wife likes the house hot. I like the house cool. There is literally one temperature where I am not sweating (and swearing) and she is not freezing. 74 degrees. I can always tell when my wife has adjusted the thermostat as beads of sweat start to form on my forehead at 75 degrees. Her hands get cold at 73.

While few of these are deal breakers, answering similarly on most of these will get you a long way towards marital bliss. What question would you have liked to have asked your significant other?

File Under King of the Castle