posted by Joe Anaya on June 29th, 2015

In light of last weeks ruling by the Supreme Court, declaring gay marriage a constitutional right. I’m reposting this blog.

Originally posted 4/1/13

Usually, Male Pattern Madness is a place to get a nice laugh, and we stay away from overly serious or controversial topics. But this is something I feel strongly about and since I have a blog, I decided to express my opinion here. So, if you’re not inclined to hear me on my soapbox, just come back in a couple of days.

Last week, the Supreme Court listened to arguments on two different cases involving gay & lesbians’ right to marry. Now if I were King of the United States, I’d make the government find a new word and get out of the “marriage” business. States would issue “domestic partner” contracts entitling both sides to all the rights currently reserved for married couples. Marriages would become religious ceremonies like bar mitzvahs, confirmations and baptisms. Each church could apply whatever standard they wanted. But since I’m not K.O.T.U.S., that’s not going to happen.

A gay friend has declared he won’t marry his partner until all people are free to marry the person they love. (I tease him that he’s just trying to avoid commitment.) Whenever the topic comes up, my typical response is, “Why on earth would you want that?” With a spouse, you’re entitled to the drama of the in-laws, the contempt that comes from familiarity, and the spark of romance dampened by the monotony of everyday life. If they’re crazy enough to subject themselves to that, I say, “More power to them.”

But when pushed for a serious answer I’m squarely in the camp of “it’s a civil rights issue.” If you’ve read this blog, you know my parents were of different races. And because they were from two different races, their marriage wasn’t legal everywhere they went. Some people argued that a mixed-race marriage was unnatural and diminished the value of their own marriage. Other self-described Christian leaders used bible verses as evidence that it was against “God’s will” to accept mixed-race marriages. By today’s perspective, it’s obvious those arguments were motivated by nothing more than bigotry. Fortunately for my brother, my sister and me, our Mexican-American father and Japanese mother only listened to the love in their hearts and built their lives together.

It took until 1967, for a marriage like my parents’ to be legally recognized in all 50 states. It wasn’t because the citizens of each state willingly acknowledged their right to be married, it was because the Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional for states to deny some couples the rights of other married couples. This right seems obvious when reading the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Whether the pursuit of marriage would lead to Happiness is debatable (ask any husband), but when two people love each other, no matter what race or gender, they deserve the unalienable right to decide that for themselves.

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