“I believe in America.” The famous opening line of The Godfather represents my feelings as well. I’m very patriotic. Every year I enthusiastically celebrate the 4th of July and every year I get a little misty eyed thinking about how generations of immigrants have made America their home, hoping to create a better life for

In light of last weeks ruling by the Supreme Court, declaring gay marriage a constitutional right. I’m reposting this blog. Originally posted 4/1/13 Usually, Male Pattern Madness is a place to get a nice laugh, and we stay away from overly serious or controversial topics. But this is something I feel strongly about and since

Am I the only one who didn’t know Veteran’s Day had been moved to Sunday not Monday? After I posted Monday’s blog about Veteran’s Day, I got a few messages letting me know I had missed it. What happened? Months ago, I thought President’s Day got moved. Instead of a Monday, it’s now a Friday.

There’s a Bud Light advertising campaign based around the idea of sports superstitions, with the tag line, “It’s only weird if it doesn’t work.” In one commercial, a 49er’s fan returns to his old apartment to sit in the same spot he was in when the team one a Superbowl. There’s another commercial where fans

A few years ago, I fell in love with a brine turkey dinner. I told my wife, “I want THIS next year.” She says, “Help yourself.” “Okay, I’ll do it.” I agreed to prepare the turkey next Thanksgiving. What the hell. The next year, I found a recipe for brining a turkey and I was

Over the 4th of July weekend, I heard the national anthem over the radio while watching fireworks. Every school kid knows that Francis Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner. But not everyone understands that in 1812 it was just a poem, Defense of Fort McHenry. The words were added to the music of The

With Father’s Day in the books, I thought I’d repost a blog about parenting. Enjoy. I try not to judge other parents on how they raise their kids. Recently, Amy Chua has gotten a lot of attention as the Tiger Mom. Her book details Chinese parenting techniques like forcing her daughter to practice the piano

I love March. There are lots of reasons: the return of warm spring weather, St. Patrick’s Day (I’m Irish by marriage), my birthday (Pisces), but mostly, the NCAA college tournament March Madness. If you like college basketball, or underdogs, or Cinderella stories you have to love the tournament. For years, even if I wasn’t in

This is the best Valentine’s Day card ever. In a guy kind of way. Enjoy.  

In the olden days before DVDs, Blurays, and DVRs, every holiday season I’d race through the TV Guide to find when the specials were going to be on and scream at my mom to mark the calendar so I wouldn’t forget. I have fond memories of getting in the holiday spirit by sitting around and

During the holiday season, whenever I see some mistletoe, I’m brought back to a fond memory of the best kiss ever. With all respect to my wife, the “best kiss” happened during high school a decade before I met her. And when I told her I was going to write about the best kisser in

Seeing how it’s Veteran’s Day, I thought I’d spend a little time writing about some of the veteran’s I’ve known. First, of course, is my dad. He was a wild youth and his older brothers, who had just returned from WWII, convinced their mom (my grandmother) that what he needed was some military discipline. So,

Summer’s coming to an end and the temperatures are cooling a bit. Which in general is a good thing, but causes problems in my house because my wife and I are on different pages about how to control the thermostat. When the weather outside is hot, there’s no question the air conditioning needs to be

During an emotional exchange between my wife and my just-teenage son, among other proclamations of how much she loves him, my wife declares, “I’d die for you.” Well, of course that put an end to his argument and he begrudgingly did what she’d been asking him to do. (A pretty low blow if you ask

Internships are not meant to be jobs; they’re learning opportunities. Recently, a couple of interns sued a major movie studio saying they should have been paid. The basic premise of their suit was that as unpaid interns, they didn’t learn anything and therefore were just free workers. The courts agreed and they got their back

Toward the end of my senior year of high school, Joe A. and I, along with a couple buddies decided we would take a road trip. Now up until that point of my life, road trips had been a family affair, and while they seemed epic in nature, the furthest we had ever driven as a family

The last days of summer are here. And we’ve had a few friends drive into town and hang out. And I’m reminded of the summer road trips my family used to take as a kid. Like National Lampoon’s Vacation, my dad would pile the family into the van and head across the country from our

Monday I wrote about an adventurer. I was reminded of a picture I saw. Feels like a dad training his child to be an adventurer. Or maybe it’s the other way around.

The other day, I was talking with a fellow employee about a project we were working on. I get along with this woman very well and enjoy when we get to work together which is fairly often. As I left her office this particular time, I said, “Have a great day!” Her reply of, “I

I know an adventurer. His name is Erden Eruc. And as a guy, if you can’t be an adventurer, the next best thing is to be friends with an adventurer. There aren’t many adventurers left in the world, so to know one is pretty cool. Erden holds the record for most days in a solo

I think I am a perfect customer, but maybe not. I am willing to pay full price for a quality product, I never use coupons, I don’t waste time in stores, and I am incredibly loyal to stores or restaurants that meet my expectations. If these expectations are met, I frequent the establishment. If not,

Cable television has become the place where quality television thrives. For the last two years, 0 broadcast network shows were nominated for Outstanding Drama, the nominees were from HBO, Showtime, AMC, PBS, even Netflix. One of the standouts and my favorite is Breaking Bad. The show where, as creator Vince Gilligan puts it, “Mr. Chips

A fan sent this recently. I think it’s a good idea. Enjoy.

My dog is an invisible fence pansy and typically doesn’t get within 15 feet of the wire, ever. Well, unless he figures out it isn’t working (How he does this, I have no idea) and then he goes next door to get dog biscuits from my neighbor. Years ago, during one of those down times,

Baseball season is in the home stretch. The All-star Game is over. The trading deadline has passed and lesser teams are looking to the future. Along with trading away their expensive stars, they typically bring up their young prospects and give them a cup of coffee in the majors. It was one of these players

Overall, I imagine my children think I’m a pretty good father. But if you asked them to tell you one thing about me, they would probably say that I drove away with a pizza on the roof of my car, or that I cheat at cards. Years ago, I think I was in 9th grade,

I’m generally an honest person. I don’t eat from the grocery store bulk bins. I keep an accurate mileage log for tax purposes. I leave a penny as often as a take a penny. But when it’s appropriate, mainly when I think it’s funny, I’m perfectly willing to take a full step across the line

So I clicked on some survey written by a young couple about the questions they would have liked to ask their fiancé knowing what they now know regarding the secrets to a long marriage. As they had been married all of two years and asked stupid questions I thought a marriage “veteran” should probably take

With no empirical data to back up my claim, I’m just gonna act like it’s true and that I know what I’m talking about. Television, especially cable TV, has saved science. I’m sure all the smart people will balk at the suggestion that the low-brow wasteland that spawned the Kardashians, The Real Housewives of Beverly

Basketball and hockey season are over. Football season hasn’t started yet. Only baseball is going on. And I use the term “going on” loosely, because rarely does anything really “go on” in baseball. Well, let’s just call it what it is, a slow-moving, boring sport. I’m a good American; I’ve tried to get into baseball.

We are well into summer, as evidenced by the record heat waves in different parts of the country. Kids are on summer vacation and teens are filling their bank accounts from summer jobs. The best summer job I ever had was working on the school landscape maintenance crew. I worked with my friend Kevin C.

I saw the Superman reboot this weekend. This is a review with spoilers. So, stop reading if you haven’t seen it yet. I love movies; I love superheros. So how could I not be excited about another superhero movie? Because I love all things superhero, my standards are pretty low for a passing grade. I

I’ve had the exact same haircut for well over 30 years. Now there have been good ones and bad ones (haircut), but for the most part, no change. When I have to actually use a comb, it’s too long and I go to the barber. Simple. Women’s hair on the other hand is a tough one.  I

My kid loves to read. Most parents are envious of that trait. They often marvel over his voracious reading. He’ll go through novels like a regular kid goes through a bag of chips. If left to his own devices, he’d just read, eat, play video games, then read some more. But what the other parents

My wife’s car got the latest registration sticker in the mail. So, I went out to put the new sticker on her license plate. I have to remove the license plate because the top corner of the sticker is underneath the plate frame. That’s when it all went south and “turned into a thing.” The

  While Joe A. would book himself an MRI like he would a massage or a Hawaiian vacation; me, not so much. I had my first MRI years ago. First, let me give you a little information about myself: I am not claustrophobic. Loud noises do not upset me. The width of my shoulders is

A friend just blew out his knee playing basketball. He’s probably headed toward surgery. But before he knows for sure, he’s scheduled for an MRI. Other friends were telling their MRI stories and they were all unpleasant. But my MRI experience has me looking forward to the day I need another. After a few months

I am for globalization and world wide economic interconnectedness. And I get a chuckle out of Matt W’s rants on his tech support struggles. So, here’s a little moment that Matt can add to his collection of anecdotes. I had some trouble with a piece of software and needed some technical support. So, after patiently

I’m a bit of a Trekky; I admit it freely. I don’t speak Klingon, I didn’t watch all the spin-offs, really just TOS (Trek talk for The Original Series.), meaning the 60’s TV series starring Kirk, Spock, Dr. McCoy, et al. A few summers ago, JJ Abrahm’s reboot of the franchise got off to a

Snail mail, Email, Text, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat. There’s a saying that throughout most of human history information traveled as fast as the horse. That’s it. Then the telegraph came a long and news traveled as fast as electricity. Nowadays if it takes more than a nano-second for an email to arrive, we complain about how

No sane person likes buying a new car. There is a reason the stereotype of car dealers is sleazy, fast-talking, swindlers. Because it’s true. Some of my friends are car salesmen and I’m sure they’re the “exception” to this rule. First, we had to choose what type of car to get. By nature, I’m a

My trusty Subaru Outback has given way to a new car. It’s always tough making a transition from your old car. And my struggle to decide was no different. Typically, I like to drive my cars into the ground. Like old girlfriends, I’m loyal to a fault, forgiving of all manner of flaws, and unwilling

Wednesday, Matt W. posted a blog about things dads teach their kids. He wanted to skip the obvious things like how to bait a hook or skip a rock on water. So here are a few of my favorites, in no particular order. Throw a punch – I’m not just talking about keeping your thumb

My wife hates to be late. She gets very tense if we’re leaving the house later than she wanted. She’ll usually insist on driving because I don’t share her sense of urgency and therefore am less willing to break every traffic law on the way to the scheduled event. It doesn’t matter what the event

Recently, over a long weekend, we decided to take a trip and had to have our son skip school on Friday. My son’s school has a strict attendance policy; unless he’s sick, it’s a truancy. He’s only in middle school, so we don’t have problems taking him out to see a speaker series with a

Since we’re both being old guys this week. Here’s a little age test I found. Enjoy.

I went to see the film Side Effects recently with my wife. I’ll give you a brief plot synopsis. It is the story of a psychiatrist counseling a suicidal young woman, and as she continues to become more distraught, he changes her drugs, which produce strange side effects, played in a theater in front of

In the theaters Oz, The Great and Powerful, is playing as a prequel to the beloved family movie The Wizard of Oz. Thankfully, Disney wasn’t crazy enough to try and remake one of the best family movies ever. Many of our generation have cherished memories of The Wizard of Oz movie. When literature snobs like

For no particular reason, but I thought this was pretty funny. And yes, I am a bit of a Trekky.

I’m old school. I’m not a big fan of texting, twitter, reality TV. I like Major League Baseball as it has held on to most of its traditions and really could care less about the NBA as it has not. Coke, yes; Pepsi, no. And so on. So when it comes to golf, I’m sure

Every so often, a fad or a phrase hits our popular culture and spreads to the point that everyone is using it, often to the point of annoyance. I’m sure everyone remembers the “Whaaas up?” commercials. Like that commercial, some of them can be traced back to their origins. Some are a little more mysterious

Through years of working with contractors either at work or on my house, I’ve had good ones and bad ones. There was the contractor who went above and beyond and surprised me with a custom built stereo cabinet. And there was the electrician who showed up with a friend and told him what to do

When I was single, I watched a lot of sports, NBA basketball, NFL football, college football, NCAA March Madness, MLB world series, etc. It was a great Sunday when I could watch both the 10am football game, the 1pm game and have a marquee match up for the Sunday Night game. Ah, that was the

Not only do I work in movies but I love to watch movies too. So, when it’s awards season, I get a little extra fun out of the whole handicapping the winners. Here are my thoughts: Best Actor: Joaquin Pheonix, The Master-Nobody saw this movie. So, no. Denzel Washington, Flight-Same as above. Hugh Jackman, Les

I resisted having a housekeeper for a long time. In California, labor is cheap. Hand car washes, yard service, and housekeeping are all very reasonably priced. I grew up working-class and feel funny about not cleaning my own house or tending my own landscape. It all feels very bourgeois. My attitude changed when I and

Another Superbowl is done and predictably I ate too many hot wings. The thing that struck me during all the cheering over big hits is that boys are bellicose. Men are too. There’s always some level of competitiveness in our play or camaraderie. A desire to establish top dog, to be able to prove that

For years, I’ve watched a lot of different crime dramas on TV. I pick the guilty person at about a 95% success rate within the first 20 minutes of the show. My kids thought for years I should quit my job and sign on with the local police force as a detective; I am that

In the digital age, everyone’s music is on a hard drive or their phone. I’ve renewed my efforts to copy the last of my CDs to my hard drive. Dutifully scanning any odd art work that isn’t available online and correctly labeling the actual publishing years for individual songs on the “Best of” albums (not

So over the holidays, I ventured into stores and shopped over the internet. I am not a big shopper. I rarely go into stores or even surf the internet for products unless I’m trying to score points with my wife. The holidays are slightly different, but really only because my wife doesn’t buy ALL her

It’s awards season in Hollywood. One nice perk of my various Guild and Society memberships is that I get to see movies for free. Unfortunately, with my wife’s schedule, she won’t see a movie unless she is home in bed by 10:00 pm because she’ll get too tired and fall asleep. And although she says

So comes to an end another week of the new year. As Joe A. talked about sports superstitions (don’t break the Seahawk mojo Joe A.), and I talked about Downton Abbey, I thought that this was a good week for a Top 10 list and couldn’t decide between most superstitious athletes (Wade Boggs was a

So, here it is, our top posts based on number of hits and reader votes. 10) Oh,That’s Right, It’s Christmas 9) No Texting While Driving 8 ) Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid 7) The Passing Of A Tacoma Legend (Ivan the Gorilla) 6) Asperger’s Card 5) Marching To A Different Drummer 4) Melting Pot 3)

Well, another year of blogging is complete. 2013… Crazy. As people that read our blog know, Joe A is a real writer and I am more of a ranter. While Joe A. takes 500 words and tells a story, I usually take 600 words to kind of tell a story and insert a lot of

We’ve had a great year of blogging. As I look back at our posts, I find a few that I still refer to in my every day life. My wife was reading an article about college essays and I mentioned my blog on Job Interview Questions. Or as I was almost side swiped by a

Reposted from 12/23/12 by Matt W. In the spirit of the holidays, I thought I would come up with a list of the top ten toys from childhood. Here it is. 10.  Slinky – They walk down stairs, alone or in pairs and make a slinkity sound. Never. They sucked. I only put it on

I’m guessing this beauty was set up by a bachelor. Happy Holidays.

One of my proudest moments as a parent came when my son was in preschool. It was December and I came to pick up my kid at the end of the day. I noticed that the walls were covered with newly painted Santa Clause pictures. As a kid, I loved to draw and paint. So,

One of my best friends, Dave B. was born with a birth defect but he’s not handicapped. He was born missing his left arm, and his right arm goes down just past his elbow and ends in a thumb and finger, no hand. There are many things that make us friends. We have a similarly

The holidays are upon us. I found this genius advent calendar. Enjoy.

The other night I was cleaning up the dinner dishes with my daughter and we heard a blood curdling scream from upstairs. As my wife was the only other person in the house, we were pretty sure it was her. Neither of us stopped what we were doing. My wife screams like that for two

I live in a suburb of Los Angeles, and it has a history of being a sleepy little family town. Past city councils actively cultivated this image, including denying hard liquor licenses and enforcing business closings at 10pm with just a few exceptions. In fact, the first month we moved out here, my wife and

Years ago, when my middle son first started to drive, I asked my wife, “When do you think our kids will realize that getting a free ride everywhere is a way better deal than driving in a car you have to pay for?” So far none of my children have figured it out. I don’t

My daughter just picked up her drivers permit a few weeks ago. Scary. Young kids out on the road freak me out. Between their incessant texting and their general lack of awareness, it’s a miracle there aren’t more accidents. My daughter knows that if I ever catch her texting and driving, she won’t drive again

I love fried chicken. If I were on death row, my last meal request would be a good plate of southern fried chicken, legs and thighs. No health conscious breast meat. So, when I was down south helping Matt W fix up a house for flipping, I made it my mission to find the best

I co-worker of mine made this rap video about being a dad. Enjoy.

Tomorrow is election day. Mercifully, for people living in swing states, the campaign ads, the mass mailers, the robo-calls will all end tomorrow. I’m excited to be able to answer my phone again, without listening for that tell-tale pause after I say, “Hello.” (Fair warning, if you’re a slow talker, be prepared to be hung

At the end of Halloween, I rummage through my kids bag and extract my “Dad tax” for helping with his costume and taking him around the neighborhood. Skipping over the fact that the candy bars have gotten smaller (there’s nothing “fun” in the fun size half-a-bite candy), here’s a list of the top candies I’m

If I had unlimited funds and storage space, I’d have one of those houses that had tons of Halloween decorations and fog machines, with the yard cordoned off into a haunted grave yard, etc. But I don’t have the storage space or the budget to do all those things, so I just use my enthusiasm

I had a good idea for a blog but I forgot what it was. This is the story of my blogging life. I’ve had many good ideas for blogs but I’ve forgotten a lot of them. I don’t think they’re senior moments, I’m not that old. It’s much more about inspiration for a 400 to

After seeing my Aspergars card, I was encouraged to make one for another friend (you know who you are). Enjoy

Gas is really expensive. Remember before the gulf war, when we used to complain if it went over $2.00 a gallon. Now the price of a gallon of gas sits well over $4, some types $4.50, recently in California it touched $5. One thing I don’t do is drive around looking for cheaper gas. My

One of the best parts about writing a blog is I get to talk to Joe A. on a fairly regular basis. While we try to separate our conversations from the rest of our lives, many times our wives or children walk through the background of our conversations. Usually, I can make out his wife’s

My class reunion is coming up. Of course my first thought was, “Holy crap, has it been that long?” It seems like only a short time ago, I was hanging with my friends doing ridiculous high school hijinks. (Think Jackass without the cameras.) When I don’t look in the mirror, I still feel like a

I found these photos of some fantastic nappers.                     I’d make a box combo lying down.                   That’s more like it.    

I’m a big believer in naps. Maybe it’s my Mexican heritage but a little siesta after lunch is a great use of time by increasing productivity. Before Seinfelds’ Costanza was hilariously sleeping at his NY Yankee’s job. I was a pioneer in the napping under the desk routine. It started at a job right after

Well, this week we talked about Video Games and the Statute of Limitations in a relationship. While my wife has a long memory, sports fans have even longer ones (there is no statute of limitations for a sports fan). As a childhood Oakland Raider fan and an adult Seattle Seahawks fan (I’ve been a Seahawk

Many years ago the famous book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus came out. I must have recently pissed off my wife, because I remember saying to someone that the people of Venus must have really long, spiteful memories. When it comes to marriage, there is a sort of Statute of Limitations

During the summer I suggested to my son, “Let’s go build something.” Some of my favorite times were spent taking the left over pieces of wood from my father’s various house projects and making things. Bird houses (no bird could ever fit in), terrariums (for captured lizards and toads), forts, boats (only by virtue that

I often tease a friend, suggesting he has Aspergers, a sort of social disorder that makes it difficult to distinguish emotions or social situations, think Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. As a joke, I made a little card for him. Enjoy.

How do I start this topic without sounding like an old curmudgeon? (That’s really Matt W.’s bailiwick.) But if I were king of the world I would eliminate tipping. It’s such a weird activity nowadays, I find it very confusing and would be very happy to be rid of the stress. “How much do I

Everyone has at least one. That person in your life that passes through your brain from time to time, that you think, “if only circumstances had been a little different.” I’m not talking about the guy or girl you dated for months or years, prior to finding your significant other, you had your chance with

Recently, there was a story about a U.S. Circuit Court upholding the right of the New London, New York police department to NOT hire a man because he was too smart. This police force likes their officers to be only slightly smarter than the general public, with IQs roughly in the 104 range. This gentleman’s

Another NFL season has officially started. Along with most other teams, my beloved Seahawks don’t start until Sunday . Like all fans during the pre-season, I again am hoping for a successful season. This year actually looks like a good team. But I say that every year. So, I’m re-posting last years Seahawk post. Hopelessly

In honor of Labor Day, we’ve decided to not work this week. But we found this picture about how to get your kids to work. Enjoy.

Enjoy the day off. I’m planning on taking a nap.

The Seahawks quarterback controversy is an age old question, well actually two. So the Seahawks had the physically gifted Tavaris Jackson, and the more cerebral Matt Flynn. They also have a pretty good rookie in the smart, physically talented while shorter than the average NFL quarterback or for that matter shorter than the After Thanksgiving

I’ve been playing the ukulele for a few years now. The New York Times called the ukulele, “The zeitgeist instrument for the DYI age.” I like it because the ukulele is a happy instrument. I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible to stay sad once you hear the ukulele. The notion planted itself in my head

When I was young and had nothing better to do, I would head over to the B&I with friends or family. The best way to describe the B&I was a cross between a Wal-Mart, a flea market, and a circus, although not nearly as organized as any of those places. If you wanted work boots,

One of the things I love about my wife is her instant enthusiasm and spontaneous excitability. The flip side of this is that in her excitement she often plays fast and loose with the details. Leaving a trail of clues like breadcrumbs leading to the actual fact she’s thinking of. I’ve told this story many

As mentioned in a previous post, my wife forced me to join a gym and signed me up for a personal trainer. Although I like the kid (and he is a kid) and cannot complain about the extra motivation to go to the gym, I am a little offended. I’ve asked around and it’s not

Like a lot of households, we’re watching some of the Olympics and marveling at the physical abilities of the athletes. You hear the usual human-interest stories about how they’re motivated by the memory of a deceased relative/friend or how their families sacrificed to get them to the Olympics. But I haven’t heard much regarding the

Married men hanging out with married women (those that aren’t your spouse) is generally frowned upon. While this has changed a bit over the years, it is still usually the case because, well, men are simple creatures. As Joe A. said in his blog Looking at Naked Women men check out women; it’s in our

Do you remember the scene in City Slickers, were Jack Palance’s character, Curly, tells Billy Crystal about a woman he once saw? The story is something like, he’s riding on the range and he sees a woman working the land, the sun is setting behind her, shining through her sundress. Billy’s character says, “You should

I enjoy a good massage. I generally like a deep tissue massage, one where the pressure is on the verge of painful. One of the best massages I’ve ever had was from a huge Russian immigrant masseuse. He was a bear of a man with big beefy hands and sausage like fingers. I’m talking Kielbasas

I recently started a new job. It has been nice to go to work every day after being out of work for a while. All my new co-workers are very nice and have made me feel right at home from the start. The only problem is I am now right in the middle of the

Being a writer, I mostly work alone at home. Despite the luxury of working in my pajamas for half the day, one negative is always having to eat alone. Typically, I eat leftovers in front of Tivo’d Sportscenter episodes, then back to my desk for more staring at the blank screen. But for the last

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to pay attention to what I eat. Fortunately, one of my nieces is a registered dietician. She’s highly educated with one of those work titles like an alphabet soup behind her name, MS, RD, CNSC, NASM, CPT. She’s worked in hospitals and health spas helping create nutrition plans for

In honor of Father’s Day, I’m going to give you a little peek inside my kid’s head. Here are a few of the questions he’s asked and some of my follow-ups. If you could have any animal as a pet what would you get? An emu. What? Wrong, you should have said dragon. Would you

Golf really is a sexist sport. The other day I showed up at the golf course and as it was 6:30 am there were only a few cars in the parking lot. On the driving range was one person hitting balls, and I did a double take because it was a woman. One, women don’t

At brunch with friends, my wife declares, “Mating for life is hard.” She expounded on her hypothesis with this gem, “In the old days, people only lived to be 50, so by the time you got sick of them at 40, you figured ‘What the hell, I only have 10 more years.” I know exactly

When I was a kid, every day after school, a bunch of guys got together and played ball. I remember playing games all the way back to 1rst grade. You showed up, the best players at that particular sport picked teams, and you played some sort of ball for a couple of hours and went

Just because I haven’t exercised in two years and have developed a bit of a gut, shouldn’t be cause for forced inscription in a gym. But since I’m married, I wasn’t going to win that argument. One of my favorite, well let’s be honest, the only form of aerobic exercise I enjoy is basketball. Treadmills

In honor of Eugene Polley, the inventor of the remote control, I’ve reposted this blog (from Oct. 2011). Women like to make fun of men for being so attached to the television remote. Our wives and girlfriends taunt us as they wave the remote out of our reach. Well, here is the truth. There’s a

Eugene Polley died of natural causes last Sunday at the age of 96. Most of the hundreds of millions of men he impacted over the years, didn’t even know who he was, but his many inventions make him a true icon in the lives of middle-aged men. But there is one invention that makes him

In case you haven’t realized: guys are visual creatures. It’s genetically true. Men have more cones in the center of their eyes than women do. I vaguely remember reading that men’s brains have a larger portion dedicated to visual stimuli or that vision is more directly wired to emotion or something like that. So, men

While visiting my sister one Saturday, my 15-year old nephew got on the phone and started calling his friends. “Can you play?” “Yeah, what about in an hour?” He’d call his next friend with a similar patter. “No, he can’t play until 2:30. Okay, cool.” I waxed nostalgic for the days of calling around to

Video games are the new baseball. Kids bond with each other by wiggling their thumbs and manipulating the digital 0s and 1s to make their electronic counterpart find gold, blow up rebel bases and avoid flying turtle shells. When my son was around 7 years-old, he was at a friends house and they were going

My daughter and I were driving home from school yesterday afternoon, and I said “How much homework do you have tonight?” She replied that while she didn’t have a lot of homework due tomorrow “I really need to get some projects started and start studying for finals.” And like all good fathers in the world,

I clicked on the internet the other day and saw that after 100 years the San Francisco restaurant, Sam Wo, which claimed to have the world’s rudest waiter had closed. A local Chinese restaurant, China Pearl, was apparently started by the same guy because the owner is such an incredible jerk, it just can’t be

Los Angeles is a car culture. Mainly, because there is no central downtown city, there’s, Silver Lake, Los Feliz, the Westside, etc. So, everybody commutes. And most commutes are pretty long. My current commute takes me 43 miles and 90 minutes to get to work. Even by Los Angeles standards that’s a long commute. I

This weeks blog posts were about winning the lottery. The NFL equivalent of winning the lottery is getting a great player at a low draft value. Here are the NFL’s top 10 draft day steals. 10. Kurt Warner QB – Undrafted: Okay, I started with a kind of cheat, technically he wasn’t even drafted. So,

Recently there was a $640 million Mega Millions lottery combining a few states’ lottery awards. People at work were pooling their money and sending a runner off to get a bunch of tickets. I can do math and understand that the bigger the pot, more people will buy tickets, increasing the odds of having to

10. Kal-El Cage: At least Nicholas Cage really is a big comic book fan. And I’ll give him that Kal-El is Superman’s Krypton name. So, naming his son Kal-El is not a bad association, but come on. 9. Diva Thin Muffin Zappa: Next to Ahmet, Diva is the most normal name Frank Zappa has for

I walked by the TV while my wife was watching American Idol and one of the contestants was named Phil Phillips. Phillip Phillips. What horrible and/or lazy parents. One of the biggest decisions I’ve ever made was what to name my son. I had no idea how hard it would be. Our name is something

There have been “home games” since the beginning of poker. Almost exclusively the poker games have been the dominion of men. Occasionally, a woman will come in and play, but mostly the girlfriends and wives stay at home and “let” their man go out and have some guy time. So, I’m going to give all

During the holiday season, whenever I see some mistletoe, I’m brought back to a fond memory of the best kiss ever. With all respect to my wife, the “best kiss” happened during high school a decade before I met her. And when I told her I was going to write about the best kisser in

When I was a young man and starting in the work force, I understood that I’d have to do the lame stuff nobody else wanted to do but needed to get done. Being the low man on the totem pole, I would be stuck doing the menial tasks until the next “new” guy came along.

So, when I was in high school, most of the boys were pushed into math and science classes. I also took AP Chemistry in high school and did quite well, easily earning an A in the class. I had followed the fast track for success every young man was pushed toward. As an afterthought, probably to

This humor blog is dedicated to the fellow Y-chromosomes out there who are stuck in the middle of life. Between our athletic peak and our aching back. Between our corporate overlords and the ungrateful employees we manage. Between, our demon offspring, our crotchety parents, and our wives/ex-wives/girlfriends/2nd wives/partners. For women who stumble upon this site: