posted by Matt W on January 28th, 2015

It is always amazing to me what people will lie about. As a parent, I have heard my share of fibs and I always find myself thinking, “Why did you choose to bend the truth here when reality was a non-punishable crime? The lie was actually worse.” We don’t get any smarter as adults.

Early in my marriage, my wife asked me to ship a package for her. I took it to work and promptly forgot about it. The next day she asked me if I shipped it and I replied, “Oh crap, I forgot.” No harm done.

Same story the next day and the next and the next. So she asks again a few days later… I didn’t want to get yelled at… little white lie… danger, danger, danger…  She comes to work the next day and sees the package… DANGER, DANGER, DANGER…

I still take shipping packages for my wife very seriously to this day. I don’t need that story justifiably thrown in my face again. People lie, and in many cases the ramifications of the lie are far worse than just taking your lumps. I can assure you I know.

But recently I have seen a lot more lies and people now seem to think, “I’m going to lie and see what happens because people are going to have a really hard time proving me wrong.” As a Seahawk fan I think the whole Deflate-gate thing is an obvious lie, but one that will be almost impossible to prove. There are crumbs all over Belechick’s half-sleeve hoodie, but we didn’t actually catch him with his hand in the cookie jar. I think it’s hilarious that the owner has demanded an apology, if the NFL can’t prove the lie. To make that kind of statement, he certainly has enough air in his balls.

The lie that sparked this blog was a professional golfer was recently robbed while on the road at a tournament. He was beaten up a bit and he posted a picture of himself on his Facebook page. It was the type of story that probably wouldn’t have even made the news years ago, but in today’s 24/7 news cycle, everything is a story. I remember thinking, “How sad. What’s the world coming to?”

It was a lie.

Now no one really knows what happened, but the parts of the story that have been confirmed by witnesses were a strip-club parking lot, falling down, and alcohol. Now there have been other little subsequent storylines, a stripper drugged him, someone pushed him, someone robbed him, but the bottom line for me is why did he say anything?

Fifty year-old men fall down all the time. If I told my wife I fell down, she wouldn’t even ask how, she would just ask if I needed a ride to the emergency room… again. “Clumsy old man, here’s an ice pack, get in the car.”

What led this guy to say he was robbed? It was going to be pretty easy to prove him wrong and the ramifications would be way worse than the truth. In this case, the more words that came out of his mouth the more likely the world was to find out he had been putting $20 bills in Jasmine’s G-string all night and yet he just started talking and posting. I wonder how many how many sponsors he will lose with his loose lips? I wonder how many nights he‘ll have to sleep on the couch (although maybe Jasmine will let him sleep on her couch)?

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

What were you thinking?

File Under Jack of all Trades, Weekend Warrior