posted by Matt W on September 10th, 2014

Joe A. and I always talk about the internet and how big brother is becoming more and more a part of our lives. The web constantly amazes me with how well the ads I see while surfing match with my actual purchasing tendencies. E-mail, not so much. You would think that they could just ask for the better algorithm.

I have one e-mail account that I rarely give to anyone and therefore stays fairly free of annoying ads. Every once in a while some garbage will sneak its way in, but for the most part, no. The e-mail address I have had forever gets bombarded. As I have had it forever, I get occasional e-mails of interest from people I don’t correspond with on a regular basis, so I keep it. The vast amount of unwanted e-mail is however signaling it’s just about time to dump it. But what is really interesting is the e-mails I get have nothing to do with me. Ever.

So on the web I will see advertisements from Callaway Golf about a new driver I might be interested in, very matchy, while I get e-mails from Shutterfly congratulating me on my new baby (unless my daughter has some news to tell the family, not matchy). On the Web I get Home Depot ads about specific tools I am just thinking about, (seriously I don’t even remember searching for them on the internet so how did they guess I needed new wire cutters?), while I get a LifeStyleLift e-mail a few times a week (I’m not there yet, and to tell you the truth I didn’t even think I was that close). It seems weird that I would get designer women’s shoes e-mails, as I am the least likely person on the planet to direct my wife towards more shoe purchases, but I do, all the time. And as a married, middle-aged, white, male, I always get a kick out of all the dating sites e-mails I receive. BlackPeopleMeet particularly wants me to be a member, and ChristianMingle, 50Singles, and a gay dating site that seems to focus more on lesbians also would like me to check out their sites, constantly.

Web, car wax, I use that, check… E-mail, hair gel (2 guard on the side for the past 35 years), never.

Web, golf balls, nice, check… E-mail, bulk tennis balls (what do I need 1000 tennis balls for?), no.

Web, healthy vitamins, check… E-mail, Cialis, never (well, I’ve probably thought about that one, but you get my drift).

I can’t think of a single e-mail I have ever received, that led me to a purchase. Ever. How can the web be so good, and e-mail be so bad at the same task? Now, I am not a big purchaser of anything, so there aren’t many great fits, but it is almost like there is a person in charge of finding the worst potential Matt W. fits and jamming my inbox full of those e-mails just to annoy me.


File Under Jack of all Trades