Lost In The Lego Crack House
In the weeks leading up to his first day of kindergarten, my son got a wild end-of-summer notion lodged in his burgeoning idea factory — that he and I should reconstruct several complex Lego models we’d built over the past year. The problem was that these models had been deconstructed a week or so after assembly, their parts combined with bits from other similarly-obliterated Lego models distributed among several plastic bins.
Normally this is a good thing. He’s proving he can follow instructions, then prying the thing apart and building new stuff using his imagination. This is the beauty of Lego. But when the notion to complete this Lego circle of life by rebuilding the original model was birthed, I knew I was being sent on a fool’s errand; I agreed anyway. There’s a sucker born every minute, right?
So how does this process work?
Me, the sifter-comber-shaker-and-rattler of Lego bins sits across from my trusty companion who manages all the building but simply plays with the half-constructed vehicles and buildings while I search feverishly through bins of microscopic plastic parts like some crackhead combing through the carpet for that one last hit that I KNOW WE HAD – I JUST SAW IT MINUTES AGO.
“Daaaaaaad, you owe me one more white 1X2 with a claw on the edge.”
“I KNOOOOOW, SON. FEEL FREE TO PICK UP ONE OF THESE BINS AND START LOOKING WITH ME!”
I find it, then drop it. It bounces across a rug IT COULDN’T POSSIBLY BLEND IN WITH, and yet it’s nowhere to be found.
Then the bugs start crawling under the skin of my arms and it ITCHES, Lordy, it itches. Just let me scratch it s’more and we’ll find that part. I swear we will. I’m a grownup, I can do this. I can find a little claw that grabs onto the cockpit of this flying police cruiser so the hatch can be opened to insert a minifig.
A “minifig”. I’m using their terminology now. These Lego people are in my mind. They’re watching me. They don’t think dear old dad can pull this off, do they? I WILL FIND THIS PART!
“What’s that? You got tired of waiting and went into the other room to play with something else?!? Well I’m NOT quitting. I’m no quitter. This is a life lesson. This is about finishing what you started. I WILL secure this cockpit!”
Needless to say, we managed to rebuild three or four models and I’m now clinically insane. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t let this happen to you.
File Under Mr. Cool
September 19th, 2014
It is true! It can make you crazy!
September 19th, 2014
Still got bins of Legos!
September 19th, 2014
Oh, the madness that is Lego reconstruction.
September 19th, 2014
I’ve been a sorter/searcher too…even gone so far as to order a “lost” part before finding it right before the new one arrived. (Get the drift…the search went on for days.) I think that job should have a Game-of-Thrones/Lord of the Rings name, like “Seeker of the Legoloss”
September 19th, 2014
Ina McGuinness LOL. “Seeker of the Legoloss”
September 19th, 2014
Ina clearly knows the fun of crawling around on the floor with a high-beam flashlight parallel to the carpet for 45 minutes in search of Lego Batman’s cowl. I also nearly ordered a spare before it magically appeared again a week or so later.
My Lego Batman experience came before we had Lego Hobbit sets, and I now fully predict that within six months I’ll be slinking across the floor, flashlight in hand, muttering “My Preciousssssss…” in search of The One Lego Ring.
Thankfully the Lego folks were at least wise enough to package One Backup Lego Ring To Rule Them All along with it, so my descent into Golem’s madness may be delayed slightly. It will happen, though, I assure you.
September 19th, 2014
Well the fun just dont happen indoors, I had to search for a little lego dude outside in the grass for about a half hour before telling my overly upset son we are just gonna have to wait till daddy mows, to see if it is found then. To my surprise the little lego dude was found after the mowing. Meltdown avoided
September 19th, 2014
Kerri Wilson Thank goodness your son didn’t witness a lawnmower v Lego minifigure dismemberment.
September 19th, 2014
All of parenting can feel like a “fool’s errand” when you’re doing it right- love your story!
September 20th, 2014
Awesome post, Marty! I too am grateful that they usually give you at least two LOTR rings with each set! But, if you want a real challenge, try finding the freaking LEGO Friends accessories in the carpet! You would think finding a bright purple LEGO Friends hairbow would be easy to find, but, you’d be wrong! It’s a nightmare!!