posted by Joe Anaya on February 28th, 2014

Between my wife being too tired to see a late movie, and my kid rarely having his homework finished on a weekend, lately I’ve had a hard time getting out to the movies. But it doesn’t stop me from boldly predicting awards for movies I haven’t seen. Here are my thoughts:

Best Actor:
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street-A conniving liar from the 80s. The most unlikable character in this group. Except maybe…
Christian Bale, American Hustle-A conniving liar from the early 80s. A late push in the popularity but it’s a crowded field this year.
Bruce Dern, Nebraska-A subtle performance in slow paced movie set in the nothingness of Nebraska. Are you still awake? Typically, I like these “last chance for an award” opportunities, but not this year.
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years A Slave-A good performance in a serious movie. But I’m putting my money on…
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club-Hollywood loves redemption stories and McConaughey has been on a roll lately. Retired from his awful romantic comedies, he’s taken several meaty roles of late. This will be his reward for making good choices. Winner.

Best Actress:
Judi Dench, Philomena-Nobody saw this film and she plays a slow-witted person, but not fully handicapped which Hollywood loves. So, no go.
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County-Another film nobody saw. And those that did, didn’t like being yelled at for two hours.
Sandra Bullock, Gravity-She’s in the movie almost every minute. And adds depth to an action film. And action is not the kind of film that typically gets acting awards.
Amy Adams, American Hustle-Have I mentioned how much I like redheads? I hate to disappoint her but I think this year belongs to…
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine-Hollywood loves actors playing deeply troubled people. Maybe because all actors are deeply troubled inside. Pick her.

Best Supporting Actor & Actress:
Still don’t care that much. So, I’m going to say, Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club (Just saying “gay drag queen” makes me think of Oscars.) and Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years A Slave (She is the closest thing to a sure bet.)

Best Animated Film:
Frozen is the winner because there’s no Pixar movie this year.

Best Director:
This is a tricky one, but for me there’s no question that Gravity director Alfonso Cuaron deserves this award. All the skills of a director were on display in this film. And because Steve McQueen will win an Oscar for also being a producer of…

Best Picture:
12 Years A Slave.

Take my picks with a grain of salt. Good luck.

File Under Mr. Cool