posted by Matt W on October 16th, 2013

So the other day, I started to step off an elevator at work just to be run into by a woman looking down as she entered the elevator (seriously people, let everyone off the elevator prior to entering). Just as I was about to think semi-rude thoughts about her, she apologized in the most beautiful southern accent I have ever heard. “Pardon me, I’m so sorry. What was I thinking?” My knees buckled a little bit as I weakly answered, “No problem.” I was totally thrown off by the beauty of her voice. I didn’t catch a real good look at her but envision her as the most beautiful person in Tennessee.

The first accent I was attracted to was a little southern girl who moved to my school in 2nd grade. I chipped my front tooth chasing her around the playground equipment. While my parents with my multiple dental bills will not agree: it was definitely worth it. I was mesmerized by her voice. In 7th grade I was in Hawaii and another southern girl was staying in our hotel. I actually felt bad about taking all her pennies in penny poker, but hung on her every word that week. In college, I was attracted to a girl with a beautiful English accent until I realized her beautiful words were kind of mean.

I’ve always had a weakness for a nice accent. I think most guys do. When I hear a nice Irish accent over the phone, I always envision a fair-skinned red-haired maiden. I have this vision of every woman in France as being a beautiful seductress. And I have to admit that most of the actresses that I have been attracted to have had wonderful accents. I hear a beautiful voice and the accent goggles slide firmly into place. Accent goggles are like beer goggles except people look more attractive based on their accents and not the amount that you’ve had to drink. They are amazing.  I will add that an ugly accent can really put the stink-eye on someone when looking through your “goggles.”

My nephew visited many years ago, before he got married. We were playing golf and as we made the turn we stopped at the snack bar for a quick bite. The beautiful young woman who took our order had a matching beautiful southern accent. As we walked away, my nephew said, “Wow, I need to move to Tennessee, her voice was amazing.” I assured him that women with that type of accent were few and far between.  Which makes me wonder, did she grow up to be my elevator woman?

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