posted by Joe Anaya on September 16th, 2013

There are certain technologies that define generations: the steam engine, the automobile, the computer. Texting seems to be the next technology break.

Hating texting is definitely a sign of an older generation. While I don’t officially hate it, I am middle-aged and don’t really see the reason for the obsession among younger people.

I was at my sister’s house playing cards with her husband and teenage boys. We were busting each other’s chops, making bets, etc. While looking for tells, I noticed that my nephew was hesitant when picking cards, placing bets, etc. I’m thinking I’ve caught his tell. Normally, he’s very fast and aggressive. Is he slow playing me?

Then I realize, he’s hesitant at everything. Not much of a useful tell. And then I spot it, his cell phone sitting in his lap. He’s been texting his girlfriend while playing cards with us.

I call him on it. And he defends himself by saying, “This way, I can have two conversations at once.” Well, no, you’re really not. You’re having two half-conversations. And it’s definitely noticeable and therefore rude. Not to mention, instead of LOLing, you could just call the other person and literally Laugh Out Loud.

But this generation is so obsessed with texting it makes them stupid. States have been forced to make laws banning texting and driving. As if you had to be told, it’s a bad idea to read and type while driving. Seriously, could you imagine someone typing on a keyboard or reading a newspaper while driving through traffic. (Well, to be fair, I have seen people reading while stuck in rush hour. Along with putting on make-up or eating breakfast, but that’s a different blog.)

Then if you add on top of the general annoying compulsive behavior of texters and put in the bad auto-spell-correct, and the bad punctuation and bad grammar and inane conversations, well, it’s all too much. If you don’t want to come across as an illiterate moron, check your texts before you push “send.”

Since when is telling someone, they’ve sent an unintelligible message by butchering the English language a bad thing. I’m confident being called a Grammar Nazi is not a compliment.

Before you declare me a curmudgeon, I will say I do use texting with work or some situations with friends. I’m not declaring a war on texting, just on rude, stupid, lazy texting.

File Under Mr. Cool