“Women are crazy and men are stupid.” This is a philosophy I’ve developed over the years. Well, it’s become more of a mantra than philosophy. This statement can be illustrated time and again in our daily lives. Everyone is familiar with how stupid boys are. Of course, when we’re young, we don’t realize how stupid we are; like having rock fights and jumping from high places weren’t clues. But the other half of the equation came later.

I was once at a party talking to a husband and wife. The wife was describing at some length about how awful her mother has been to them since they’ve been married. At some point, the husband innocently nods in agreement, “She’s a tough nut.” The wife whirls around and smacks her husband and commands, “Don’t say that about my mother.” The first part of my statement is obvious, after going on in detail about how many ways her mother has been unpleasant to them, she instantly is offended when her husband agrees with her. And of course, the man as stupid for thinking it was okay to call his mother-in-law a “tough nut.” It’s not like he was some teenager with his first girlfriend, he was married and should have known better.

One time, I explained my mantra to a female co-worker. She laughed and exclaimed, “I gotta tell Randy.” She calls her unsuspecting long-time boyfriend and announces, ”Joe says, ‘You’re stupid.’” I protest from the background, “I said, ‘Men are stupid AND women are crazy.’” “Oh yeah, I’m crazy, but that’s not the point.” It seems like that’s exactly my point. She was crazy enough to tell her boyfriend half of my hypothesis, leaving me on the hook to hope he understood the other half.

Now admittedly, I started with the observation that women were crazy, but I’d be pretty stupid to ever repeat just that in mixed company. So, I added the second half, and it goes over pretty well. Women hear my mantra and recall all the times their man has done something stupid. Men hear it and laugh at all the times the women in their lives have been completely crazy. “Women are crazy and men are stupid.” That is the simplest way to understand male/female behavior. The sooner we all accept that, the better we’ll get along.