posted by Matt W on January 18th, 2012

I have never been much of a new year’s resolution guy. Every once in a while I would say, “I’m going to lose 10 pounds, or work harder on my golf game,” but lacked the true desire to pursue these goals and watched my resolution peter out in days or weeks if I was lucky. Mainly, I just found myself frustrated by how other people’s resolutions negatively impacted my life (see Joe’s blog Oppress-The-Resolution-aries), especially my wife’s resolution to become a vegetarian as it turned permanent 10 years ago and I have been a  “vegetarian by marriage” ever since.

Well this year is going to be different.  I obviously needed a new approach so I decided to think a little out of the box and went with: grow back my goatee, do another fitness challenge with my wife, and be more “positive.”

Resolution number one: grow back the goatee (or as I like to refer to it, baby steps on the resolution front). I’m looking for a nice easy resolution to build some momentum with the whole resolution thing. My wife thinks I look better with a goatee. 1+1=goatee. Absentmindedly, I shaved January 1st, whoops, but I have held strong to my resolution ever since. Good job Matt!

My next resolution is the Fitness Challenge. My wife works out like a mad-woman, and does this Fitness Challenge thing. I did one last fall and survived. This is a good thing for my body; it is a difficult 12 week challenge. A nice upgrade from the goatee, and yet still doable. But, I hurt my foot in the second week. Crap. It’s kind of like shaving the first day of a goatee challenge, except with a lot more ice and ibuprofen involved.  But I will push through this one as well; maybe I will start my 12 week challenge clock a couple of weeks later. Get back on the horse Matt, you can do it!

My final resolution is to be “Positive!”  As you may know from previous blogs, I tend to view life through cynical colored glasses, and so I thought if any resolution would make a true impact, this is it. This is the game changer, the marathon, the Everest in my resolution world.

What a crappy resolution this has turned out to be.

I tried to focus on positive things, and basically realized I just didn’t care enough about the little things in life to have them outweigh that my crown came off and my dentist didn’t have an available time slot for 3 days. “That’s OK; I can put up with the pain for three days because I finished the laundry and can check it off the list, and just received a birthday card from my great aunt Merle.” But the more I think about this cynical viewpoint for life (hence the resolution), the more I think there is a pretty fine line between clever, cynic and a truly negative person which I hope to avoid. So I must endure with my new year’s resolutions so I don’t turn into a fat, grumpy, clean shaven old man, and stay the guy with the “dark sense of humor” and nice facial hair.

“This is a great Americano! (If I remember to drink it with only the left side of my mouth).”

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